Becoming The Real Me

This won’t come as too much of a shock for many of you who have either known me for a long time or who have seen me very recently, or to whom I have confided in but for others it may be harder to visualize or accept.

Some of you are already aware of how I feel, and have shown your support and acceptance, and for that I will be eternally grateful. Now I wish to be completely honest with everyone else, as I have now fully accepted that this is who I am.  I hope you too can find it in your hearts to accept me for who I am, and who I intend to become.

Others of you may find this hard to accept or may completely refuse to. Whether this is down to your beliefs or morals, shock or disgust I guess is unimportant. I am still basically the same person, just happier in my true colours. I will not hold any grudge towards anyone who no longer wishes to stay in touch with me, but the loss is yours.

I only came to realise in the last 2 years that I am transgender, but the signs have been there throughout my life. As an only child and only son I played that role and suppressed my feminine side as best I could, but I never fully identified as male and always dressed in bright colours, hated male-only sports but excelled in mixed games.

In my 20’s I fully embraced the Rocky Horror Show and allowed myself to show my full feminine side. Shortly afterwards I met my (now late) wife and lived my feminine side through her whilst I (happily at the time) played the role of good husband and father, as best as I could.

With her passing 3 years ago I had to discover who I truly was. The answer was initially uncomfortable – a transgender woman – but now I have accepted that I am really happy as my true self.

Having accepted my true self I saw my GP to refer me to a gender clinic. I also I started to attend support groups and psychology sessions to ensure I wasn’t fooling myself. In fact they have all reinforced my true identity.

With the question of my true identity settled I decided to transition. Over the last year or so I have been taking herbal supplements to increasingly feminise my appearance, plus paid for laser hair removal on my face and body. Of course I have also increased my wardrobe of female clothes, shoes and make up etc.

Taking on my female persona of Amy I started to socialise with some of my colleagues after work to introduce them to my real self before I formally approached my bosses to request that I go full time as Amy in May 2016.

I did feel a tinge of apprehension at the prospect of returning to work as Amy at the start of May, but found reassurance that my managers were being very positive and supportive of my change.

I am carrying on doing what I have always been doing, so otherwise nothing will have changed for me. The familiarity means less things to worry about.
Like any other person I need to go to the loo during the day. I have used the Ladies’ loo without incident since day one. Nobody has appeared to be uncomfortable with my presence. I have of course been polite and respectful towards other ladies. 
It may seem a little dull but in the office I am yesterday’s news. Amy is just another colleague doing her job in an air of mutual respect. I am living my life authentically without giving up on my career.  Surely that’s how it should be? 

Keeping such a deep secret can be very bad for your health and well being. I feel it is better to be honest and open about who you really are. Those who like and respect you will still like and respect you.

I know for some it may take time and adjustment for them to do so. But for me I need to be true to myself.

I would very much encourage those who have been thinking about transitioning to do so. Keeping such a deep secret can be very bad for your health and well being. It is better to be honest and open about who you really are. Those who love and respect you will still love and respect you as you truly are – but for some it may take time and adjustment for them to do so.

Always be true to yourself!

Amy x